…People are Animals too!!
by C. Pedersen From Flickr.com click to see source
Those of you who have heard me speak on parrot training, have likely heard me say this in 10 different ways in my lecture. We often forget how incredibly important it is to be considerate to the others who live with our parrots and are not necessarily parrot people.
The ex-parrot post got me thinking that I ought to clarify this point just a bit further especially as more and more people commented privately, on Twitter and Facebook that the girlfriend should just “get over it” or “get some self-esteem.”
I’ve been around the block enough times now to know that no gets over anything when you tell them to “get over it.” And no grows self-esteem on demand. I agree that everyone should love parrots, I’m not really sure why they don’t. I also think they should have thicker skin. However, the fact of the matter is that some people don’t care for parrots and therefore don’t have much tolerance. Those people might love you, but not your parrot.
Don’t let the bird (or the dog or the cat) to be a bone of contention in your relationship with your roommate, children or significant other. The people in your life deserve just as much respect and love as your animals. No one deserves to be attacked, even if it is just by a tiny little Senegal parrot and they surely don’t deserved to be laughed at and told to “get over it.” They also don’t deserve to have to listen to screaming or your ex-girlfriend’s bedroom talk if it really bothers them.
What do the people in your life deserve? Your understanding. Your empathy. Your willingness to work on a solution so that everyone came live comfortably together. They deserve for you to take their feelings seriously and come up with a training plan to change the bothersome parrot behavior. If the bothered party won’t take part in the training plan, then its their own problem that the parrot is being a pain. At least you were understanding of your roommate’s quality of life and tried to make a change for their benefit. At this point, I would say perhaps you are living with the wrong person, but not before.
In the end the quality of life will be better for everyone including your parrot if you care about the humans in your household. More importantly, you will never get to the “it’s me or the parrot” stage of your relationship.
I read this a few days ago, but keep thinking about it so decided to leave a comment.
I live with a severe macaw who would love to see me out of the house so he can have an exclusive relationship with my husband. We’ve worked out a situation that works for us, but it’s been a lot of hard work. I love parrots (even him!) but totally understand that not everyone would put up with what I do. I can’t imagine not being a parrot person and living with Rocky. (Also I can understand — though certainly not condone — why he was locked in a back bedroom for at least 6 years.)
In fact, my husband told me the other day that if I die, he’s not even going to date while Rocky’s alive because of the type of situation you describe. Of course, that’s what he says now, and hopefully it won’t come to pass, but it’s something that people who live with difficult parrots definitely think about!
Also, at the rescue where we volunteer, we’ve had many birds surrendered because they don’t like the new husband/boyfriend or (less frequently) wife/girlfriend. I always wonder if they end up regretting their decision since half of marriages end up in divorce, and you can’t beat a bonded parrot…
Sorry for being so long and bloggy — have a great weekend!
Sounds like your husband has a lot of empathy for you and for anyone else that might have to deal with the difficult little macaw. That sure goes a long way though, doesn’t it? Still, doesn’t it suck to have an animal that just doesn’t want to interact nicely with you? It does hurt your feelings. I applaud you for being willing to rationalize it and live with the situation.
I used to take it personally and had many conversations with him (the macaw) about how I really was a nice person
All of which he ignored, obviously. So now I joke that he’s just a bad judge of character.
That being said, we’ve made huge progress in the 3 years we’ve had him, and I’m stubbornly optimistic that we’ll continue making progress.
It’s been years since he’s called me into the room only to tell me he hates me, and he’s currently in his longest stretch of having all of his flight feathers and learning to fly without turning his skill into aerial attacks.
Check back in 10 years and we’ll see how it goes
Sorry to keep commenting on this thread, but there was an article in the Wall Street Journal today that I thought you might find interesting and is related to this post. They even had it online for free, which I didn’t think they did!
It’s titled “When It’s Time to Kick the Dog Out of Bed” by Elizabeth Bernstein. There is even one parrot reference.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704762904575024974034545324.html